Strangers Temper Loneliness

A couple of months ago I received a message in my inbox from a stranger. It was actually sent a few months ago, but I had been late in noticing it in an inbox I neglect.

To you, man: Thank you.

I have not been blogging because I haven’t remotely known where to begin. So much messy fuckery is a sticky web and I am completely caught up in it. I am stuck.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed to have started a blog. Who the fuck cares what I have to say about a goddamn thing? Ever since I read that message, I have been able to remind myself that I have found it beneficial to read what other folks contribute. I have told myself that it is only reasonable to assume it’s okay that I share, too. Possibly even helpful to people. At the very least, amusing enough to help someone surf through some spare time…

The message said that if I keep blogging, they will keep reading. Someone out there took the time to contact me.

It meant everything, stranger. I’d like you to know how significant those sentences were to my wilted self-esteem, to my warped sense of self-worth.

There are days where I feel so strongly that I have two choices: fucking die or write through that urge to erase my existence. I have too many cats to kill myself. That means I don’t really have a choice at all.

I *must* babble on for the sake of my kitty babies. Perhaps along the way I will dream up ways to contribute making this often ugly world a little bit better for the future.